Depression, denial, loss of bearings… Everyone experiences grief in their own way and as best they can. When faced with the suffering of a loved one who has lost a loved one, we often think that there is nothing we can do. However, if we cannot change things or erase our grief, we can try to help and relieve it on a daily basis, by taking over certain tasks or by directing it to associations that can support it.
Constant emotional support
Whether it is the disappearance of a spouse, a parent, a child or a friend, the time of mourning is a delicate moment which may require external support. Even the strongest people can lose their footing and need help for a longer or shorter time.
On a daily basis, we can take care of the bereaved loved one, listen to him if he needs to speak, respect his silence if he needs solitude, monitor his morale but also his physical state, because those who are affected by the disappearance of a loved one often tend to be overlooked. Also remember to check his or her medications or treatments, as well as the various possible medical appointments to which he or she must attend.
After a death, you can feel completely overwhelmed, and yet life has to go on. As a loved one, you can suggest that the bereaved person take the load off a bit by babysitting, cooking for them, looking after their garden, or driving them to the shops at first. Then, later, by offering outings and leisure activities, just to change his mind.
Help organize the funeral
In addition to the emotional aspect, a death is accompanied by procedures post-mortem which cannot be waived, such as the declaration of death and the organization of the funeral. Notifying the family, preparing the funeral, making the necessary decisions and paying homage to the disappeared prove to be difficult ordeals.
The bereaved person often has neither the desire nor the strength to deal with these “material” obligations. There again, you can accompany it or call on funeral professionals who can take care of the maintenance and the regular setting in flower of the burial, for example.
Support administrative procedures
After the burial, there are many administrative formalities to settle: notify the banks and close the accounts, inform social and family protection organizations, terminate current contracts such as telephone, energy, water, insurance, contact a notary for the succession or the bailiffs if movable property is to be preserved. During the year, it is necessary to think about the tax declarations, to constitute the file for the survivor’s pension, to modify the registration certificate if the deceased had a vehicle …
So many complex and tedious steps that can seem insurmountable for a person in pain. Here too, you can help him or call on associations specializing in administrative support.
Call for help at home
To make the day-to-day life of a bereaved easier and avoid sacrificing your own privacy, many organizations can take over. If it is an elderly or sick person who suddenly finds himself alone, we can call on outside help to support him on a daily basis: a cleaning lady to take care of his house, a nurse to supervise his treatments, or a home carer.
This professional will help him get around, do his shopping, and above all, keep him company, which will reassure family and loved ones.
Join support groups
In order to share their grief, their feelings and their experiences, some people join support groups, set up by associations and supervised by health professionals or psychologists. If only time can heal wounds, personal journey plays a big part in accepting death.
With people going through the same thing, it’s often easier to let go of your emotions without being afraid of annoying loved ones or being ridiculous.