Reproductive coercion: my partner wouldn’t let me take the contraceptive pill

Reproductive coercion is a lesser-known type of abuse. It is when someone uses pregnancy, contraception and sex to control a person.

Examples vary, but can include forcing someone to have an abortion they don’t want, damaging or hiding contraceptives, or pressuring someone not to use condoms.

To find out how common it is, the BBC commissioned a survey of 1,000 UK women between the ages of 18 and 44, and found that fifty% said to have experienced at least one type of reproductive coercion.

Conducted by Savanta ComRes, a third of women who completed the survey said they had been pressured, and a fifth said they had been forced, to have sex without contraception.

This is the most common form of reproductive coercion, according to the survey.

Excuses like “condoms don’t fit”

One in ten women surveyed said they have experienced someone hiding, withholding, or even damaging their contraceptive method, such as puncturing a condom on purpose.

One in ten also said they had experienced someone removing a condom during sex without consent, an act often called “stealthing” and is classified as rape under UK law. It is also a form of reproductive coercion.

Carly says this has happened to her.

“There have been times where I would say ‘stealth’ has occurred, where there has been that pressure not to use something when I clearly said I wouldn’t do anything without using [condones]”he tells Radio 1 Newsbeat and File on 4.

Carly believes that reproductive coercion is much more common than people realize.

“I know a lot of people who have said their partner would make up an excuse that condoms don’t fit, or say, ‘Well, that doesn’t work for me, it doesn’t have the same effect.'”

“But I think sometimes men don’t understand that, in reality, it’s not okay to take something off during sex“.

Did she think it was wrong at the time?

“I think when you’re in that situation, you don’t necessarily identify as a victim, you ignore it. It becomes so normal that people don’t take it seriously.”

But there are other, more extreme cases of reproductive coercion, including some in which the partner continuously supports the pregnant woman.

“He controlled my whole life”

That happened to Maeve*. She met her partner when she was a teenager and became pregnant a few months later.

She says that he was “lovely” at first, but it wasn’t long before he got a grip on her and her access to the pill.

“I would go to the GP and he would come and wait in the car. I would get a call to say ‘hurry up’ when I was there,” says Maeve.

As soon as she got back in the car, he would take them off, so she “I was always pregnant“.

By doing this, Maeve’s partner was able to control all aspects of her life, including her ability to get a job.

“Every time he said he wanted to go to work or talked about getting a job, he wouldn’t let me take my pill,” she says.

His couple He also abused her physically, emotionally, and sexually..

Maeve wants health professionals and authorities to be more aware of this type of abuse, which is a form of coercive control.

The law was amended in 2015 to make coercive control a criminal offense in the UK.

“Tired of seeing this”

Winnie Porter, 28, is a midwife specializing in women’s safety at an MSI Reproductive Choices abortion and sexual health clinic, where we spoke with her.

She is very used to seeing women being pressured to terminate their pregnancy and other types of reproductive coercion.

“I hear the same things and I hear the same techniques that people use to try to force women to have abortions, not to have abortions, to have contraceptives that they don’t want.

15% of women in our survey said they had experienced pressure to terminate a pregnancy when they did not want to.

“A very specific type of control”

Like Maeve, Winnie believes that reproductive coercion is not well recognized among health professionals.

“I’d say it’s almost a blind spot for a lot of services,” she says.

“It’s so subtle that it almost doesn’t show up, you hardly notice it, and it’s only by really questioning what’s going on in that woman’s life that you start to understand that this very specific kind of control is going on.”

While we interview him at work, there’s a knock on the door.

There is a woman in the room next to us who is being pressured by her partner so that she has an abortion that she doesn’t want.

Winnie goes to talk to her and has a meeting with her colleagues. When she returns, she explains what is happening.

“We are trying to determine at this time if it is safe for him to go home and how he will handle the situation when he arrives.

“Unfortunately, she’s just not sure. Sometimes it’s about doing an investigation, is there anything else we don’t know about this situation?”

“Right now, my job is just to make decisions about what we do and make sure that she’s okay now. She’s safe.”

“How often will we see this?”

Excuses like “condoms don’t fit”

One in ten women surveyed said they have experienced someone hiding, withholding, or even damaging their contraceptive method, such as puncturing a condom on purpose.

One in ten also said they had experienced someone removing a condom during sex without consent, an act often called “stealthing” and is classified as rape under UK law. It is also a form of reproductive coercion.

Carly says this has happened to her.

“There have been times where I would say ‘stealth’ has occurred, where there has been that pressure not to use something when I clearly said I wouldn’t do anything without using [condones]”he tells Radio 1 Newsbeat and File on 4.

Carly believes that reproductive coercion is much more common than people realize.

“I know a lot of people who have said their partner would make up an excuse that condoms don’t fit, or say, ‘Well, that doesn’t work for me, it doesn’t have the same effect.'”

“But I think sometimes men don’t understand that, in reality, it’s not okay to take something off during sex“.

Did she think it was wrong at the time?

“I think when you’re in that situation, you don’t necessarily identify as a victim, you ignore it. It becomes so normal that people don’t take it seriously.”

But there are other, more extreme cases of reproductive coercion, including some in which the partner continuously supports the pregnant woman.

“He controlled my whole life”

That happened to Maeve*. She met her partner when she was a teenager and became pregnant a few months later.

She says that he was “lovely” at first, but it wasn’t long before he got a grip on her and her access to the pill.

“I would go to the GP and he would come and wait in the car. I would get a call to say ‘hurry up’ when I was there,” says Maeve.

As soon as she got back in the car, he would take them off, so she “I was always pregnant“.

By doing this, Maeve’s partner was able to control all aspects of her life, including her ability to get a job.

“Every time he said he wanted to go to work or talked about getting a job, he wouldn’t let me take my pill,” she says.

His couple He also abused her physically, emotionally, and sexually..

Maeve wants health professionals and authorities to be more aware of this type of abuse, which is a form of coercive control.

The law was amended in 2015 to make coercive control a criminal offense in the UK.

“Tired of seeing this”

Winnie Porter, 28, is a midwife specializing in women’s safety at an MSI Reproductive Choices abortion and sexual health clinic, where we spoke with her.

She is very used to seeing women being pressured to terminate their pregnancy and other types of reproductive coercion.

“I hear the same things and I hear the same techniques that people use to try to force women to have abortions, not to have abortions, to have contraceptives that they don’t want.

15% of women in our survey said they had experienced pressure to terminate a pregnancy when they did not want to.

“A very specific type of control”

Like Maeve, Winnie believes that reproductive coercion is not well recognized among health professionals.

“I’d say it’s almost a blind spot for a lot of services,” she says.

“It’s so subtle that it almost doesn’t show up, you hardly notice it, and it’s only by really questioning what’s going on in that woman’s life that you start to understand that this very specific kind of control is going on.”

While we interview him at work, there’s a knock on the door.

There is a woman in the room next to us who is being pressured by her partner so that she has an abortion that she doesn’t want.

Winnie goes to talk to her and has a meeting with her colleagues. When she returns, she explains what is happening.

“We are trying to determine at this time if it is safe for him to go home and how he will handle the situation when he arrives.

“Unfortunately, she’s just not sure. Sometimes it’s about doing an investigation, is there anything else we don’t know about this situation?”

“Right now, my job is just to make decisions about what we do and make sure that she’s okay now. She’s safe.”

“How often will we see this?”

Cases like this stick with Winnie when she gets off work at the end of the day.

“It’s frustrating. I think that’s probably the best way to describe it… Just to think that I’ve seen it again. What can we do about it and c?”How often are we going to keep seeing this?? When is anything going to change?” he asks.

Reproductive coercion is not currently recorded by the NHS or the police, nor is it something most health professionals routinely ask about.

*Names have been changed to protect the identity of our collaborators.

Now you can receive notifications from BBC World. Download the new version of our app and activate it so you don’t miss out on our best content.

• Do you already know our YouTube channel? Subscribe!