I was bullied and struggled to make friends – until I became a wizard

There aren’t many people who don’t have the courage to perform complicated magic tricks in front of hundreds of people on stage, but for me it’s one of the easiest parts of my life.

Be it hitting people in the street, working at weddings and events, or just entertaining a few people at the pub, magic has become my favorite place, my career and even a form of therapy to help me through difficult situations. times I’ve experienced.

As someone who suffers from mental health issues and has struggled for years to control his autism, this form of therapy is invaluable, even if to outsiders it may seem like I’m just doing my job.

Working with people, interacting with and hosting guests you would never know that I suffered from severe separation anxiety for much of my childhood, was highly sensitive and even had difficulty speaking.

Growing up in South Africa and after moving from England at the age of three, my parents struggled to get a formal diagnosis of my autism and I was simply known as a troublesome or even stupid kid.

Over the course of 12 years in South Africa I attended 13 schools, some because I was about to be expelled and others because I was being bullied.

When we returned to England in 2011 at the age of 15, everything changed and I was officially diagnosed with autism. Although things improved with the extra support and therapy I received through specialist training, I still struggled with my sensitivity and was unable to socialise.

I can’t even begin to describe the change in me right now as I work for large crowds, reach out to strangers, and have built a network of friends and even fans.

The difference – magic.

In 2014, when I was 18, my life changed when my parents gave me a voucher for a three-week Beginner’s Magic course at Davenport’s Magic in London for Christmas.

It wasn’t something I asked for, but I’d expressed a little interest in some magic tricks a family friend had shown me, so my parents thought I’d enjoy it.

There I learned basic tricks with sponge balls and cards and was immediately sold.

At the time I was at a sixth year boarding school in Gloucestershire and when I came back from the course I wanted to not only improve the skills I had learned but also show them to other students and not only use the experience to build relationships, but also to show them to other students. to perfect my craft.

I couldn’t imagine having that self-esteem when I was younger, but over the next two years I got better at both magic and sociability, formed a friendship group, and was asked to show tricks that I would do. learned and even won the school’s talent show.

When I left school I had more confidence not only in myself but also in my talent and although I went to college for a few years I knew my future lay in magic.

I went to local pubs looking for tips. Initially, the manager would ask people if they wanted to see a trick on my behalf, but the more I did it, the better my social skills got.

Combining the growth of my magic business with a more traditional job at Sainsbury’s, I enjoyed the flexibility the job offered me as I took bookings for conferences, small parties and even weddings.

In February 2020, I felt ready to go full-time to fully dedicate myself to this career and even passed my exams to join the Magic Circle, the world’s most famous association of magicians that requires an interview and a skill test.

Of course, we all know what happened next, and my plans have been put on hold during the pandemic.

Despite this, I managed to keep myself busy and not only sharpen my skills but also improve my pursuit of achievement by hosting several successful shows via Zoom.

Since the lockdown eased, my career has taken off and I’ve been trying to give back more and more by working with schools and running workshops to not only show people how fun magic can be, but also help other neurodivergent kids. they are not “the naughty kid,” but they can see their worth and talents, just like me.

I truly believe in the power of prepayment and I don’t want kids, especially kids with autism or Asperger’s, to not feel like I grew up.

But I can’t pretend everything went smoothly — while I’m confident and truly believe that magic saved my life, I’ve still battled bad moods, suicidal thoughts, and thoughts of self-harm.

My attitude has been profoundly changed by a traumatic experience last year when I had the misfortune of witnessing someone take their own life.

While waiting at a train station I saw another man right in front of me and before I knew it this man had committed suicide.

It was horrifying and I have experienced flashbacks and anxiety in similar places and am much more aware of my surroundings.

However, using my playing cards to engage others got me more excited. You never know if that distraction could save a life.

I shared my struggles with my family and tried to use all aspects of my story, both good and bad, to inspire others.

It’s normal for all of us to just say, “I’m fine,” but so many of us aren’t, and I want to be able to help people communicate.

I want to help people find this medium, be it sports, art or science, to focus their energy and focus and face whatever life throws at them.

That’s what I used magic for, and that’s how I want to inspire others, especially young people on the spectrum – who I want to see, to avoid the needless struggles I’ve been through.

One day I want to join Britain’s Got Talent and one day tour my show, travel the world or work on cruise ships to bring joy to as many people as possible.

But no matter how successful I become, I will always remember my journey from that sensitive kid in the naughty corner, unable to focus, communicate, or form relationships, to the career I enjoy now.

Some people who do workshops like mine like to end with an inspirational quote, be it from a philosopher or a political leader.

My personal taste is simpler and I always live by a line from Disney’s Winnie the Pooh: “You are braver than you think, you are stronger than you seem and you are smarter than you think.”

I’ve never believed that before – but after magic helped me change my life, I know it’s true – and I’m determined to make sure others know it too.