Because my GP wasn’t concerned about my breast lump, I postponed my check-up for seven months

Waking up knowing you’ll never look the same again is a tough pill to swallow.

Especially when you are all alone and no one supports you.

This happened to me when I had a double mastectomy during lockdown and Covid restrictions didn’t allow company.

As I lay in my hospital bed in despair, I took a selfie for Instagram and tears streamed down my face.

Even though I immediately knew it was a photo that broke my heart, I assured myself that in a few weeks, months, or even years, I would look back at this photo and realize how strong I was.

I wanted to show people that it’s okay to be sad. It’s okay to be vulnerable.

It was time to learn to love myself in a world that is constantly judged by how you look. I had no idea how on earth I was going to pull it off, but here I am, twenty months post-surgery and grateful to be alive.

In the summer of 2020 I first discovered a lump in my breast. I breastfed and assumed it was just part of normal body changes.

When I made an appointment in late October, my doctor wasn’t concerned. I wasn’t too worried either, but I didn’t like the way it looked and it got even bigger.

I was told I was too young for breast cancer, but as a precaution I was referred to the breast clinic for further examination.

Unfortunately I was exposed to Covid-19 the week of my appointment so the appointment was canceled and I rebooked for no reason.

However, the lump continued to grow. It looked like a bruise sticking out of my chest and was more noticeable when I wore certain clothes.

When it got bigger, I went back to the GP a few months later and was referred again to the breast clinic.

In July 2021, I was diagnosed with stage 3 breast cancer and was told it had spread to my lymph nodes. The news seemed completely unexpected to me.

I have two small children and was fit and healthy at 30. I was heartbroken and overwhelmed with so many emotions: fear, anger, worry.

I was too young to have breast cancer – how wrong that thought was.

After a month of tests, scans and appointments, I began the first phase of my treatment plan: 13 rounds of chemotherapy, with the surprising addition of sepsis and a blood clot in the heart, to make the rollercoaster ride a little more difficult.

During my chemotherapy treatment, I lost all my hair and several pounds of weight. I felt unrecognizable.

Phase two was surgery. During chemotherapy, I thought a lot about my options and decided to have a double mastectomy. I made this decision for many reasons: to continue my active lifestyle, to reduce the risk of recurrence for my children and their lives.

Furthermore, if I had opted for a single mastectomy, I would have had to wait for breast reconstruction, and I didn’t want to live unevenly for more than a year.

I just wanted to get it over with as quickly as possible.

However, because I had opted for a double mastectomy, I was no longer eligible for reconstructive surgery through the service.

The surgery itself was fine. I went in first and woke up feeling like I made the right choice. Recovery is slow and ongoing, both physically and mentally.

I quickly accepted the way I look, but it can be difficult when I try on clothes that no longer fit or don’t look right. Low-cut tops no longer seem to fit my chest properly, and it’s hard to look feminine in a tank top when the chest is flat or hollow in places.

I now much prefer to wear tops with a high neckline or a bodysuit that makes my missing breasts less noticeable.

I know my life will never be the same and sometimes it can be a challenge to accept that.

I live with daily pain and although my scars are a reminder of what I have been through, gratitude for being alive will always be my dominant thought.

The day after my surgery, I started blogging about my journey, not only as a personal outlet, but also to educate people.

Breast cancer in young people is not often discussed and I wanted to do my part to change that. I documented everything I was going through and I wanted to show my scars on my platform so others could virtually join me on the journey.

There will always be backlash for looking different or speaking out about something you believe in.

I know this isn’t the “normal” body type and I’ve received countless insulting messages from people, but I’m okay with it. I see that their problem is that they are open-minded and I find it sad that they live a life with so much negativity.

But most of my inbox is full of love and support. I have received some nice messages from other survivors saying that I helped them boost their self-confidence and showed them that it was okay to move on with their lives.

All these kind messages drown out the hate.

Normalizing my body type to raise awareness and boost the confidence of others is why I wanted to be part of Erika Lust’s #OneMorePage3 campaign.

Page 3 is known for objectifying female breasts for male gratification, but we’re working to turn this on its head to raise breast cancer awareness and celebrate bodies of all shapes and sizes by working to change the image of turning my first double mastectomy model onto page 3 of a national newspaper.

It is so important to make it clear that breast cancer can occur at any age, but also to show that it is okay to be different. In a world surrounded by filtered, unrealistic body images on social media, I hope sharing my scars helps others believe that it’s okay to be exactly who you are.

Our imperfections make us different and different is powerful.

I want people to check themselves every month and know how normal they feel. If you notice a change, check out.

I am living proof that it can happen to anyone, and the sooner changes are considered, the better the chances of recovery. Let’s not shy away from taking care of ourselves and let’s not shy away from being proud of our bodies, no matter what they look like.

ERICALUST

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