I went to a family funeral and realized I had to worry about my own health

Funerals have a strange way of evoking all kinds of emotions, and my mother’s was no exception.

Sadness and sadness were of course the dominant feelings. But I was also full of worries and fears about my own health.

The last thing on my mind that day was probably myself. And yet there I sat, 61 years old, wondering if maybe I had prostate cancer.

Growing up, I was estranged from my family. I didn’t know my father, let alone anything about his medical history.

When a conversation with a relative at my mother’s funeral revealed that my father had been diagnosed with prostate cancer in the 1990s, I immediately became concerned.

Other than the fact that it is a small gland in a man’s pelvis (prostate) and is the most common form of cancer in men, I knew very little about the disease. To be honest, I had never really thought about it.

You could even say I had a “this can’t happen to me” mentality.

But when I learned that my father had been diagnosed when he was 74, everything changed.

I wasted no time and had a PSA blood test done by my GP a week after my mother’s funeral.

This test measures the amount of prostate-specific antigen (PSA) – a protein produced by the prostate gland – in your blood.

A low PSA level is usually normal. However, if the value is elevated, it can be an indication of various medical conditions, such as: B. Prostatitis (inflammation of the prostate), a urinary tract infection or of course prostate cancer.

Fortunately, my PSA levels were low at this time and the doctor decided that further testing was not necessary.

But in 2022, when I was 66, things changed again.

I was at another funeral—this time my uncle’s—when a younger cousin in my father’s family told me that he had just been diagnosed with prostate cancer.

That really shocked me. I couldn’t believe a second family member had been diagnosed with this disease.

He strongly recommended that I have another PSA blood test, which I immediately arranged with my GP the next day and this time, much to my disappointment, the results showed that my PSA level had risen significantly.

Although that didn’t necessarily mean I had prostate cancer, I was still scared. But most of all, I was completely confused.

I was doing well and living my life normally. I enjoyed my retirement and spent time with my family and friends. I also had no complaints that would indicate that I have a capital C.

I didn’t know that early-stage prostate cancer often has no symptoms.

What followed was a series of tests and biopsies to determine if I actually had cancer. The wait was horrible, but getting the results was even worse.

In May 2023, I walked into a room to meet with my advisor. He greeted me with a handshake and two Macmillan nurses were also present.

‘A handshake and an audience.’ That doesn’t bode well.’ I thought.

Then he told me that at the age of 67 I had prostate cancer.

A new wave of emotions soon followed: anger, shock, dismay. I just couldn’t believe it.

The doctor explained to me that I needed a nuclear scan to check if the cancer had spread to my bones before he could recommend treatment.

Naturally it was difficult to deal with and when I told my wife Dorothy, 68, and daughter Alex, 30, what was happening, the news hit me hard.

At first they burst into tears before deciding to do everything they could to help me through this difficult time.

They accompanied me to the nuclear scan and we all comforted each other on the bad days. But we all kept hoping that I could do it.

A few weeks later we were told that the cancer had not spread: a huge relief. I was then advised on the appropriate treatment options: surgery to remove the prostate or radiotherapy with hormone therapy.

Because I had already suffered complications after the operation (acute appendicitis combined with a ruptured abscess), I opted for the latter.

I was prescribed hormone tablets once a day and given a hormone injection (which is released slowly and remains in the body for six months).

Twenty days of radiation therapy followed, which I completed on August 16, 2023. And I’m happy to say that my last PSA test was low, which means the treatment is probably working.

We were happy with the news, but know that there is still a long way to go.

I will have another PSA blood test in early 2024 when the hormone treatment has worn off. This will determine if the cancer has been successfully treated or if further steps are needed. And after that, I will need more PSA blood tests every year.

I am experiencing side effects from the treatment including hot flashes, lethargy and frequent toilet visits. But overall I feel much more positive now.

Prostate cancer in Britain has a lot to do with it. The website contains a wealth of information about the disease and its treatment, which has eased the concerns of my family and me.

That’s why my daughter Alex and her boyfriend signed up for the charity’s March of the Month Challenge in September this year. They walked 11,000 steps every day all month and raised over £700 – a small reward that will help them continue to help men like me who have been affected by this terrible disease.

When I was diagnosed, I knew almost nothing about prostate cancer.

I knew it was common, and soon discovered it was twice as common in black men, but I never really realized how aware every man must be of his potential risks for the disease.

I didn’t know that things like getting older and having a family history of the disease would put me at greater risk. And I only discovered my story by accident.

Even then, because I didn’t feel any symptoms, I mistakenly thought I would be okay.

Don’t make the same assumptions I did.

If you’re over 50 (or for all the black men reading this, if you’re over 45), talk to your doctor about getting a PSA blood test, even if you feel fine.

It can save your life.

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