Dealing with violence against women in the news

News broke yesterday that Met police officer David Carrick admitted to being a serial rapist, committing 24 rapes against 12 women over a 17-year period.

The Metropolitan Police Officer on duty is regarded as one of the worst sex offenders in modern history.

It was another horrific event that illustrates the current “epidemic of violence” against women and girls in England and Wales.

The shocking revelation has shocked women across the country – many of whom are now questioning the police and the entire UK justice system.

But unfortunately, many women become all too familiar with these heavy headlines.

It follows the 2021 death of Sarah Everard, murdered by Met police officer Wayne Couzens, as well as the murders of Sabina Messa that same year and Zara Aleena last year.

It is clear that violence against women is the order of the day.

In fact, recent research shows that of the 177 women murdered in England and Wales between 2020 and 2021, 109 were murdered by a man.

It can be very difficult for women who read these chilling headlines to process them and know how to act. Not to mention how triggering they can be for those who have experienced violence themselves.

However, psychologist Emma Kenny also points out that everyone can be affected by this violence in the news.

She tells Metro.co.uk: “It is important to recognize that even women who have not experienced abuse or personal violence in their lives can be traumatized by the media – so that ‘secondary trauma’ can occur.

“And it can be quite distressing if you’re someone who hasn’t experienced violence, but is still anxious, scared, or shocked — because I think a lot of people underestimate the experience of that secondary trauma.”

With the safety of women and girls in the spotlight once again this week, we asked experts how to respond to this triggering news.

Dealing with violence against women in the news:

Try grounding techniques

When someone has been exposed to trauma, they are often very aware of what triggers their nervous system – and therefore try to avoid it. Think of limiting news consumption or avoiding certain places or situations.

But we can’t always avoid all of these triggers – after all, headlines are everywhere.

Even when we talk about triggers, they are not always the most obvious things.

Crystal Luk-Worrall, a member of The Therapists and Counselors Directory, tells Metro.co.uk: “It could be a color or a word you’ve read everywhere. You may experience increased heart rate, sweaty palms, brain fog or memories and images that pop up – and you have no control over them.

“These are common responses when your nervous system is activated.”

To deal with these stressful situations and physiological responses, experts recommend grounding techniques such as certain breathing exercises such as boxbreath.

Emma says: “Box breathing is just breathing in through your nose for four seconds, holding for four seconds and breathing out for four seconds – and repeating that for a few minutes.

“It can help you control your breathing so you can take control of your body — and when you’re in control of your body, you feel more comfortable.”

Another is the 5-4-3-2-1 technique. Emma explains: “Think about five things you can see, four things you can hear, three things you can smell, two things you can touch and one thing you can taste. That will bring you back into your body. ‘

Another helpful tip is to change your body temperature, such as by drinking an ice-cold drink, says Crystal.

She adds, “It grounds you back to the present and you don’t feel like you’re completely consumed by past experiences.”

Write down your thoughts

Writing down your thoughts can be a really helpful way to unpack your feelings, says Emma.

She continues: “Write things down and try to figure out what the resemblance is and what the trigger is. Most of the time it will be very specific – it won’t be any kind of violence against women.

“Once you discover that specific type of information, you can go back to the memories and think about what happened, when it happened, and how it affected you — and that can help dispel those feelings.”

Take a “social justice holiday” – and don’t feel guilty about it

In addition to individual experiences and traumas that certain events can bring, there is also the broader picture of social justice and the desire to fight for justice.

But Crystal says it’s important to take care of yourself first.

“It’s really hard to fight when you feel triggered or like you can’t think — it’s really important to take care of ourselves first,” she explains.

If you’re feeling this way, she suggests taking a “social justice vacation,” which means taking a break from fighting for the cause.

She continues: “If you are struggling to make ends meet, give yourself a holiday – not a holiday in Ibiza – a social justice holiday.

“It doesn’t mean you’ve given up, it just means you’re taking care of yourself — so you can do what you want to do later.”

“Trust your allies, too. Just because you need to take a break from fighting doesn’t mean everyone else is taking a break too. We’ve got really good allies for women’s rights now and if looking up what they’re doing online gives you more power to get away from it all, then by all means do it.”

Take care of your well-being

Crystal explains that in psychology there is something called the “window of tolerance” for how much stress we can handle individually.

She says, “The theory is that if you’re generally healthy — and not too overwhelmed — your tolerance level is higher.

“Although your life is generally quite stressful and overwhelming, your tolerance is lower.

“Take care of yourself first – and everyone is different. It’s about knowing yourself and knowing what works for you.”

Crystal suggests creating a playlist for when you’re feeling down or stressed — and it looks very different from your everyday music favorites.

She adds, “It’s not a general feel-good playlist, it’s a playlist you put on just for yourself in a very specific mood — just taking care of yourself makes you feel grateful and better.”

Don’t be afraid to ask for professional help

It’s normal for our emotions to fluctuate, but experts say it’s important to know when to seek professional help.

Crystal explains, “The signs that someone needs professional support is when you feel chronically depressed, irritable or unmotivated to do anything.

“If you notice that about yourself — and you may not even know why (since many of these tensions may be subconscious) — don’t put it off.”

If you’ve experienced violence or abuse, Crystal and Emma also recommend trying trauma-focused therapy like EMDR.